Big Idea
by Sugar xD
Summary: House wants Cuddy to pretend to be his girlfriend, so he could get a rid of Cameron. Basically Huddy story, but with a lot of other characters. Slight Cameron bashing... hope you gonna like it/
1. Chapter 1

"Doctor Cuddy! Nice blouse… they haven't got your size?" House as always stepped into his boss's office not bothered with this completely piffling action which we call knocking.

"What do you want House" Cuddy asked with her most unemotional tone, not even looking at him from above all documents which she was studying at this moment.

"We have to act like a couple" he said. This unusual request made her look at him enquiringly.

"Explain me what do you mean NOW or stop bothering me." Nervousness and some disorientation could be heard in her voice.

"If I pay attention to other women, they are the happiest ever, and you are complaining? You know Cuddy, I thought that these all gossips about you are just gossips distributed by teasers, but now I see that pseudonym 'Ice Queen' fits you perfectly."

"If you want somebody to stare at you and make puppy eyes, go to Cameron, I am working here" she said and looked back at the documents "in contrast to you, as a matter of fact. Shouldn't you be in clinic right now?"

"Cameron… yeah… actually, I am here because of her" House replied rolling his eyes.

"Sorry, I can't help, dying patients happen. And shrink admits on the third floor" she winced just on a thought about this oversensitive doctor.

"No, I just don't know how to get rid of her… I've got enough of her nonsensical 'love-thing', do you know how exhausting is it…? Ahh, what am I talking about, how YOU could know that" he added after a moment, hitting himself in forehead with his open hand.

"I thought that you like when someone admires you like 8th Wonder of the World… Hey, wait, did I say EIGHTH? Sorry House, even magnitude of Statue of Zeus can't be compared with size of you ego" she explained earnestly and sat down on her chair in more comfortable way.

"Get over it, all those whippersnappers don't elate me at all, look at her, it's a child which can't cope with its life, how would I like her fascination?" his sober tone made her 'waking up' distrust to 'stand up mode'.

"And what I am suppose to do? Say: 'Doctor Cameron, get yourself unfall in love with doctor House or I will transfer you to the oncology'?"

"It's easier way… Just pretend you're my girlfriend" he was smiling affrontingly while saying this.

"What? House, are you insane? Or maybe you overdosed Vicodin?"

"Easy, it shouldn't be that bad, all I need is just make her understand, that I have someone. And when she see that this someone is you, she should get immediately that she hasn't got any chance."

"Tell me, why I have this feeling that this is the one of your Big Ideas which have to end up bad?" she rubbed her temple musingly.

"And… and if I agree for extra 2 hours every day in clinic for this week?"

"No… I don't believe it, Gregory House IS COMING UP himself that he WILL BE WORKING in clinic, it must be a dream! You have to be very desperate."

"So what, deal?" He asked with charming hope in his eyes.

"NO WAY! You really believed that I would agree for something that ridiculous like pretending to be your girlfriend only to get rid of Cameron? Just tell her to get lost." Cuddy seemed to not seeing this martyr face House made. "If you have nothing to add, go to clinic and let me work" she said and returned to reading documents.

Cameron was standing near Cuddy's office and pretended talking with one of the nurses, but at heart all the time she was glancing nervously at House, who evidently tried to convince Cuddy to some idea. And they seemed amused. And she couldn't stand it.

'Wait, wait, I will show ya, I will show which one of us is better! It's obvious that House will pick ME. I just have to make a fool of ya or make you hate each other'. Her thoughts were stopped by object of her affection.

"Doctor Cameron!" House shouted far too loud in order to be heard by everyone "what are you doing here, I told you clearly 'go to clinic', which part of the command you didn't understand? Go there immediately instead of standing here like a moron.

You're totally useless" he said and went away without throwing even single glance at her.

She was sooo angry! Everyone heard that! 'It won't that easy as I thought' she thought and went to the clinic in discourage mood.


	2. Chapter 2

Cameron went to work in clinic, but her thoughts were revolving around something else - thinking out how get rid of Cuddy from casual House's life. This heavy mind activity came to fruition with brilliant (in her opinion) plan. She will revenge on Foreman for stealing her article and get rid of this stupid dean of medicine in one! She decided that the fastest way to get both aims in one she will reach by inducing Foreman to make a pass at Cuddy. She just has to tell him, that she overheard Cuddy, when she was tending to Wilson about the affection he made at her. Someone conceited like Foreman will take the bait beyond question. When her shift ended she decided to put the plan into effect and went to seek black doctor.

She was drinking coffee in the office when he came.

"O, there he is! Golden boy of our boss!" she said trying to hide mean smile.

"What are you talking about? And as I know, House is not gay?" – he asked curiously.

"You're idiot, like all men… I overheard Cuddy-Wilson conversation. Our 'Ice queen' told him that she have the hots for you. Who would think…"

"Yeah, right, and what else?"

"You think why did she propose you your own diagnostic department and other doctors? To pique House? She was actually thinking about you, she thought that she will get your friendship in change!"

Foreman wondered about this one. Well, it was a little bit suspicious but on the other hand he couldn't find no reason against it, Cuddy has to find him attractive. He smiled to himself and asked:

"You think that I should do something?"

"You don't asking me for advice how to take out a woman, do you?" she asked back with a lot of jeer.

In this moment Chase stepped into the room, so they ended their conversation at once. Foreman tried hard to hide his victorious smile, but he was so proud that other doctors glanced at him suspiciously.

And then House showed up, throwing new patient's files onto the table and preventing Foreman from indulge in his thoughts.

In some time from now Foreman was sitting in chair and tried to focus on storyline of some criminal book which he had bought a long time ago, but hadn't enough time or desire to peer into it before. The more he tried to haul in these all exciting occurrences, the more he got annoyed by all these thoughts which have been hanging around him since his talk with Cameron . Was he angry at Cameron because of what she said or was he angry at himself because he believed it - he didn't know yet. Cameron's words were a little bit more ridiculous than they were few hours ago, but still, he couldn't deny that it makes sense. Is it possible that Cuddy's motives were so obvious? Well, he couldn't reproach himself anything - he's young, attractive, intelligent, handsome… Yes, it's so true! Cuddy couldn't resist his charm but she wasn't brave enough to confess! Pleased by himself, magnanimous Foreman noticed that the lady is torturing by muffled emotions and he can't let that happen anymore so he decided to pay her a visit tomorrow morning.

She was sitting by the fireplace, lost in her own thoughts. She obviously didn't want to agree for Houses idea, but it doesn't mean she consider it as something uninteresting. She didn't even know how they'd suppose to be pretending a couple, but she was pretty sure, that it would be a lot more than sharing few smiles and warm glances. This wouldn't be enough to get rid of Cameron. She wondered how it would be like – to be with House. They get on well with each other, sometimes they acted like an old married couple. Only he could tell her things, for which every other person would be fired. Eventually she decided, that if she'll negotiate with House proper amount of clinic hours, she could even agree for that. It could make all those cold, boring winter days a lot more interesting.

Meanwhile House was wondering, how to convince Cuddy to pretend his girlfriend. It would be so interesting. Regardless how it would affect on Cameron - however her hysterical reaction would be something that he could tell everybody in the hospital. Most interesting thing was if Cuddy could stand the fact that she's HIS girlfriend. It would mean that she belongs to him. With her tendency for dominance it could be very funny. And they'd have more time for bantering, or he'd just have more time to irritate her. As a matter of fact it was one of his favorites things to do. Nothing amused him so much like Cuddy outraged by his actions. He laughed to himself and admitted that even thinking about it was fun.


	3. Chapter 3

Foreman was fidgeting near Cuddy's office since morning, just like he planned the day before. Unfortunately, he didn't have luck today – Cuddy was busy all day, talking over the phone, running to several meetings and singing a lot of papers. He sighed and decided to go to her anyway. He draw himself up and bravely walked in to her office. Cuddy was having a little break. She just took a sip of her coffee, when he appeared before her desk.

"Good morning, doctor Cuddy" he said with a strong voice and smiled beamingly. She glanced at him with a hint of disorientation, put her mug aside and looked at him with curiosity.

"Good morning, doctor Foreman"

"Tough day?" he enquired, squirming a bit. For a moment he doubt that she feels something for him, cause she looked at him that way… but he quickly fought that thought and tried to remember why the hell he's in her office.

"What do you want?" Cuddy asked with feeling that Foreman's goofy smile isn't a sign of anything good.

"If House did something … "

"No, no, I'm not here because of House…" he stopped, because he saw in here eyes that she's completely unaware about what he was about to say.

"You look nice today, doctor Cuddy, that color looks great on you" he said, hoping that she'll smile after that. She didn't. She furrowed her brows.

"You want something, doctor Foreman, or just to waste my time?"

"Actually yes... I want something". He was starring at her cleavage. This action didn't go unnoticed by her.

"So make it quick, I'm going to a meeting in 10 minutes". She gathered stack of files from her desk and stood up. Foreman moved a bit when he saw that she want to leave her office. He didn't waste opportunity to check out her ass. She glared at him furiously.

"So... " she asked with irritation.

"I thought… maybe... do you want to go for a drink tonight?". He almost chocked with his own words while saying that.

Cuddy bit her own lip, tried not to laugh.

"Doctor Foreman… " she started, but she had to pinch herself, otherwise she would burst with laughter.

"I don't want to receive from you any other comments about me or any invitations in future, do you understand?" she finished with cold voice.

Seconds passed and Foreman was still quiet, too startled to say anything.

"If that's all, go and do your job" she added and stormed out of her office, which caused all nurses to stare at her suspiciously.

"What, 'Ice queen" can't laugh?" she bitterly asked herself and walked faster, trying to be out of their sight as soon as it was possible. She didn't even want to think, what they'll be blabbering about this.

Right after the meeting Cuddy went to House's office. She thought that this deal with him could be pretty funny. And if House start doing his clinic hours because of that, and Foreman would leave her alone, she'd have a plenty of benefits from this. She recalled scene from her office and grinned. She didn't even realize she was standing in a front of House's office. She hesitated for a second and walked in.

"Doctor Cuddy! What did I do that you decided to honor me with your appearance?" he asked, grinning at her. Of course he figured out why she came to him (at least he hoped), but what mean that wicked smile at her face, which he saw before she walked in?

"House … " she started, but immediately felt doubts about her decision. "Ok, I agree to your proposition. But you'll have to work in clinic for 2 more weeks". She stand next to him and looked into his eyes.

"But mooom, its to much", he whined, feeling that he's already winning.

"Ok, so we don't have anything to talk about. Good luck with Cameron". She turned away from him and headed to the door.

"Wait, you're ruining all the fun", he said, catching her wrist, which caused her to stop. Slowly she turned around to face him. He still didn't released her hand.

"10 days, deal?" he almost begged her.

"God, Cameron must be really annoying as hell", she thought. Well, it wasn't big shocker, she was very petulant these days. Cuddy exhaled loudly.

"Ok House, deal, but YOU'll have to do your clinic hours, not your team" she said adamantly.

"Sure, but can I call you honey?" he asked, smirking at her.

At this moment they both realized that he's still holding her hand. They stared at each other for a few seconds, not dare to move. Eventually House pull out his hand to take unruly wisp from her temple, but his hand stopped in the air, when he realized what he was about to do. Cuddy wanted to say something sarcastic about the way he was acting to break this silence between them, but before she opened her mouth to say anything, Cameron almost breezed into House's office. House and Cuddy jumped, startled by her. They immediately moved away from each other, and slight blush creep up Cuddy's face.

"Sorry Cameron, Cuddy is not into threesome" said House. He didn't know that he should be thankful to Cameron or be mad at her. Before Cameron answered, Cuddy 'remembered' that she's late for important meeting and stormed out from the room.

Neither House nor Cuddy were aware of a fact, that Cameron was staring at them from few minutes, boiling with anger. When House pulled out his hand to Cuddy's face, she couldn't stand it. She had to do something, otherwise she would have a stroke in the hospital hallway. "I need to do something faster" she kept saying to herself. She knew that after work House is usually going to a pub near his apartment for a drink or two, so she decided that she'll bump into him 'accidentally' there. "I just have to make him drunk, and he'll be mine". Her plan was making her so proud about herself, that she couldn't stop smiling. If she only know, how wrong she was…


	4. Chapter 4

Cuddy ran into her office like mad, with flushed cheeks. After previous accident, when she run out smiling wickedly, staff wasn't in much surprise.  
She went to her desk, then to table, then to her chair. Next she looked out the window, walk around her office 3 more times and eventually sat down. Internally she was buzzing. She was banging with her fingers at the table, fixing her skirt… she had no idea what to think. And about what. About the way she was acting or about way he was acting towards her? He was just messing with her while her stupid heart was bumping like a mad. She felt like idiot.

"No House, you won't be messing with me that way" she thought. She stand up and started pacing around the room again. She felt that her cheeks are even more red than before. She let this asshole to fool her. How could she do that? She would never in her life admit, even to herself, how much she wanted him to touch her hair, when they were in his office.

Phone called, but she heard it after 3rd ring, she was so lost in her own thoughts.  
'Let's see who will fool who', that was her last thought before picking up the phone.

House heavily sat on his chair when Cameron went away from office after few seconds of conversation. He leaned his chin on cane. What the hell is she thinking? Well, yeah, they are supposed to play, act like something is going on, but… Do they really need to? Well, yeah, he loved mysteries, but not that ones which were about his feelings. Or Cuddy's. He was perfectly aware of a fact that when he was reaching to her hair he wasn't acting at all. And it was scaring him a lot. He barely restrained himself! Cuddy must start wearing new perfumes with unlimited amount of musk and that was his instinctual reaction, he truly wanted to believe in this rationalization. What a impudent woman! She came to his office, made him work in clinic and he acted like a bit … romantic?! 'Romantic House, blaaah', he thought and smiled. 'Cuddy, you grouchy, brassy woman!'

'It was really great day' House thought and smiled cunningly to himself. Since tomorrow he and Cuddy will be a couple. Well, they'll be pretend a couple, but it makes everything even more interesting. And all he have to do is few more clinic hours. He'll force his team to do it anyway. Inwardly he was dying with anticipation to see Cameron's reaction, when she'll the him and Cuddy in ambiguous situation. He looked around, because of Cameron he became a little paranoic. He took a sip of his beer, looked at the door, and in that exact moment Cameron entered the pub. Houses smile disappeared. He immediately picked phone from his pocket, trying to ignore her. Few seconds later he felt her hand on his shoulder. Unwillingly he raised his gaze to her. She was glowing with happiness. When he looked at her, her smile become more wider, even if he thought it was impossible.

"What are you doing here? Is there any place in his city where I could find a little piece of peace? You have to walk along? Be so nice and get off."

She decided to act like completely idiot, which was banal thing to do in her case.

"But House, what are you talking about?" She fluttered her eyelashes.

"I decided to call in at this pub for some drink or two" fluttered again "and who am I meeting? You! This is our destiny, isn't it?" He got headache because of her stupid giggle at once. He wanted to dart on the floor and cry miserably. Gosh, she really thought that they are meant for each other. He took a deep breath and said:

"Cameron, listen to me carefully now. You are the most stupid, blind and naive woman I've ever met. Get out of your head that I could ever think about you seriously. Actually, I'm wondering why the hell I even hired you. I can't stand your pathetic appearance anymore… Goood, infant, these are NOT complements" he added, noticing that she's staring at him dazedly while he tried to reason with her.

"Oh, you're so funny!" she put off giggling again. "Let's drink, it's on me."

1,5 h later pub overcrowded and there were so loud, that they could barely hear their thoughts.

"Yeaaaaaah, ann imaginnn, thh… that… hihi…" totally drunk Cameron clung to House's arm and related completely senseless story from her completely boring life. Amused bartender glanced once in a while on House's face, who was bored like hell. But hey, free cognac is a free cognac, right..? He pushed away little slobbery girl who didn't even notice that fact and continued her fascinating mumble. ".. and shh.. she.. House, she said to me than th.. that.., sorr, I can't… hahahahah! Itz soo funn…y! Buut, you knowhat? Enoughh of thiz old wives' tal..e" She must have hit on some big idea, because she suddenly raised her head and looked at him with almost conscious gaze. Cameron stood up, while House wasn't looking at her. Suddenly he felt that something is squirming next to him. Cameron, even if she was barely standing by herself, was trying to dance.

"Yuuuuck" he shrieked, spilling his cognac on a woman sitting near him.

He was totally unfazed with his reaction and continued her "show". In fact somebody should stop her when she started to unbutton her blouse, but everyone were finding this too funny for that. She was so drunk, that she had problems with unbuttoning, so she decided to thore apart her blouse. Buttons scattered all over the place, while Cameron took Houses hands and laid them on her cleavage.

"Toddayyy I cannn be youurzzzz, today and foreuveeer … " she slurred, trying to be seductive. House tried to get his hands off her, took a look at her bosom and said:

"Thanks Cam, but I have my own jugs. Bigger than yours." When he said that, bartender dropped glass with scotch and started to laugh histerically. Other reactions were similar.

House was done. He couldn't stand any second longer of this. He stood up and left the pub. At the doors he passed Wilson. He finally arive, which he asked to come almost 2 hours ago. He showed him totally wasted Cameron. She was currently float about the pub, wobbling heavily and searching something on the floor.

"No, no, not the buttons, not gumdrop buttons!" she slurred to herself. She couldn't stand on her legs anymore, so she landed on a table full of glasses and shattered everything.

'Damn, I'm going out, Wilson will deal with her anyway' House thought and left pub as fast as he could.


End file.
